How do to strengthen Christian marriage?
 
 
Dear friends!
I read a very interesting article: "The Anatomy of an Affair" http://www.gospelcom.net/ftf/couples.htm 
in which is told about the problems in the marriage. There is such typical example in it: a husband didn't show much attention to his wife. And she wanted out of the marriage. She have found an attention to her from other man...
 
Yes, an attention to his(her) spouse is very important in Christian marriage. I'd like to quote a little this article:
"... hundreds of couples today who are ending their marriages after becoming involved in extramarital affairs. Often these affairs don't end up in marriage; in fact, only fifteen percent marry the person with whom they had the affair. Eighty-five percent of these marriages eventually end in divorce. Why then does this happen? How can wonderful Christian couples end up in these situations?
 
Willard Harley, in his book His Needs, Her Needs, explains how this happens. When personal needs are met in the marriage there is no need for a relationship outside of the marriage. When these needs are not met, husbands and wives become very vulnerable to having someone else meet them. He lists what he considers to be the ten most important needs of men and women: admiration, affection, an attractive spouse, honesty and openness, family commitment, conversation, domestic support, financial support, recreational companionship, and sexual fulfillment." More: http://www.gospelcom.net/ftf/couples.htm
 
The author of this article give an advice too: if you must spend time regularly with a person of the opposite sex(e.g., business lunches) you must inform your spouse about these meetings and if it is possible make business lunches all three.
In the Jewish tradition a marriage has an important role. ''According to Jewish thought, the relationship that most closely parallels the relationship between man and G-d is the marital union between a man and a woman. "If a man and wife are worthy, the Divine Presence is with them" (Sotah 17a). "A man cannot live without a woman, a woman cannot live without a man, and the two of them cannot live without the presence of G-d"
(Berachot 9:1).'' (The Jewish Laws of Marriage http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm) 
 
''In good relationships both parties try to balance serving their own interest, and serving the other person’s interest. The ideal of balance between the self and others is, I believe, firmly grounded in Jewish tradition. The most notable example is Hillel’s famous three questions:
“If I am not for myself, who is for me?”
“And when I am for myself, what am I?”
“And if not now, when?”  (William Berkson. Jewish Family Values Today http://mentsh.com/PDFwebfiles/Jewish_Family_Values_Today.pdf)

SHALOM BAYIT

            
 ''Throughout the history of the Jewish people, Jews have held an ideal standard for Jewish family life that is manifested in the term shalom bayit ["peace in the home"]. The term shalom ["peace"] also signifies completeness, wholeness, and fulfillment. Hence, the traditional Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, nurturing, respect, and chesed, through which a married couple becomes complete. In Jewish culture, a marriage is described as a "match made in heaven," and is treated as a holy enterprise. For example, the Jewish marriage ceremony is known as Kiddushin ["sanctification", or "consecration"]. By declaring the marriage union sacred, a couple stands sanctified before G-d. It is in a relationship where both husband and wife recognize each other as creations in G-d's image and treat each other accordingly that true sanctity emanates forth. Moreover, this sanctity of the marital union reminds the Jewish husband and wife to express their holiness through marriage and to build a home based on mutual love, respect, and chesed.'' (The Jewish Laws of Marriage http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm) 
 
Eph 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

1Pet 3:1  Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pet 3:2  While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.
1Pet 3:3  Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pet 3:4  But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1Pet 3:5  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pet 3:6  Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pet 3:7  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1Pet 3:8  Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous:
 
1Cor 13:1  Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become [as] sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
1Cor 13:2  And though I have [the gift of] prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
1Cor 13:3  And though I bestow all my goods to feed [the poor], and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Please read Bible more and more!

 
May God bless you and your families and give you SHALOM (peace)!
Vladislav


Jews, Christians and the Word of God