The Jewish family values
Who is wealthy? <...> He who has a wife comely in deeds.''
We can read these lines in Brit Hadasha (the New Testament):
Eph 5:28 So ought men to
love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
In the Jewish tradition a marriage has an important role. ''According to Jewish thought, the relationship that most closely parallels the relationship between man and G-d is the marital union between a man and a woman. "If a man and wife are worthy, the Divine Presence is with them" (Sotah 17a). "A man cannot live without a woman, a woman cannot live without a man, and the two of them cannot live without the presence of G-d"
(Berachot 9:1).'' (The Jewish Laws of Marriage http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm)
''In good relationships both parties try to balance serving their own interest, and serving the other person’s interest. The ideal of balance between the self and others is, I believe, firmly grounded in Jewish tradition. The most notable example is Hillel’s famous three questions:
“If I am not for myself, who is for me?”
“And when I am for myself, what am I?”
“And if not now, when?” (William Berkson. Jewish Family Values Today http://mentsh.com/PDFwebfiles/Jewish_Family_Values_Today.pdf)
''Our Rabbis taught... a man who loves his wife as himself, who honours her
more than himself...'' (Yebamoth 62b http://www.come-and-hear.com/yebamoth/yebamoth_62.html)
''A man should always eat and drink less than his means allow, spend up to his means on clothes, but beyond his means in honoring his wife and children, because they are dependent on him and he is dependent upon God.(Hullin 84b, interpreting PS 112:5: "Well is it with the man that dealeth graciously, that ordereth his affairs rightfully")'' (Parents and Children: Notes http://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/hgarrett/documents/jewishfamily.html)
"If your wife is short, bend down and hear her whisper!" (about household affairs) (Baba Mezi'a 59a http://www.come-and-hear.com/babamezia/babamezia_59.html)
''Our Rabbis taught: Who is wealthy? <...> R. Akiba said: He who has a wife comely in deeds.'' (Shabbath 25b http://www.come-and-hear.com/shabbath/shabbath_25.html)
About education
Let us read these lines in Tanach (the Old Testament), in Brit Hadasha (the New Testament) and in other books:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye
fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
''We should not say to a child: I will give you something, and later change your mind. For this teaches the child to lie. (Sukkah, 46b)'' (Parents and Children: Notes http://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/hgarrett/documents/jewishfamily.html)
"Let the dignity of other people be as important to you as your own," we learn in Pirkei Avot or Ethics of the Fathers. Judaism is about deeds, and parents can emphasize this basic value by regularly showing how it translates into everyday actions. Even the two loaves of challah on the Shabbat table have a lesson to teach us. Why, ask the Rabbis, do we cover them? To save the bread the "embarrassment" of being blessed last, after the wine.
If our rituals teach us compassion for the feelings of a loaf of bread, how much more so do they teach us about caring for the feelings of other human beings!'' (HELEN MINTZ BELITSKY. Beginning at Home: Raising Menshes http://www.socialaction.com/families/Beginning_at_Home.shtml)
More about education: http://messianicministry.info/about_education.htm
SHALOM BAYIT
''Throughout the history of the Jewish people, Jews have held an ideal
standard for Jewish family life that is manifested in the term shalom bayit
["peace in the home"]. The term shalom ["peace"]
also signifies completeness, wholeness, and fulfillment. Hence, the traditional
Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, nurturing, respect, and chesed,
through which a married couple becomes complete. In Jewish culture, a marriage
is described as a "match made in heaven," and is treated as a holy
enterprise. For example, the Jewish marriage ceremony is known as Kiddushin
["sanctification", or "consecration"]. By declaring the
marriage union sacred, a couple stands sanctified before G-d. It is in a
relationship where both husband and wife recognize each other as creations in
G-d's image and treat each other accordingly that true sanctity emanates forth.
Moreover, this sanctity of the marital union reminds the Jewish husband and
wife to express their holiness through marriage and to build a home based on
mutual love, respect, and chesed.'' (The Jewish Laws of Marriage http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm)
Hakarat ha-tov
(recognition of good)
Do you remember Messiah Yeshua healed 10 lepers? How many of them
thanked Him?
''And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were
lepers, which stood afar off: And they lifted up [their] voices, and said,
Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. And when he saw [them], he said unto them, Go
shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they
were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back,
and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on [his] face at his feet,
giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. And Jesus answering said, Were there
not ten cleansed? but where [are] the nine?'' (Luk 17:12-17)
Hakarat ha-tov is recognition of good. It is very important!
''It is a mitzvah in Judaism to look for joy in everything we do. We must
look for reasons to compliment and not complain. We call this mitzvah
hakarat tov, recognizing the good.'' (http://rabbigold.
''Hakarat ha'tov means recognizing the Tzelem Elokim /
Divine Image in every person. Bestowing kindness on another person is a G-dly
act. The more distant the relationship between the giver and the receiver, the
more G-dly the act is [for what is more distant than the distance between
Hashem and His creations; furthermore, the kindness that G-d bestows on us is
the ultimate altruistic kindness, and the one who imitates it is the most
G-d-like].'' (http://torahsearch.
Dearest friends!
Thank one another more! Especially it is important for shalom-bayit (peace in the home). Thank your wife (husband), thank your parents!
The consent and blessing of
the parents for marriage of their children
Did children ask the consent of their parents for marriage? Let us to remember Samson:
Jdg 14:1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw
a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
Jdg 14:2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said,
I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now
therefore get her for me to wife.
But there was the such situation:
Exod 22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not
betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
Exod 22:17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he
shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
In generaly speaking, ''the consent and blessing of the parents was the prerequisite of a happy marriage (compare the words ''were a grief of mind'' in Gen. 26:35 where it said the choice of a fiancee has been done without a consent of the parents).'' (Biblical Encyclopedia of Brockhous. In Russian, Germany, 1999, p.107).
Gen 26:34 And Esau was forty years old when he
took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the
daughter of Elon the Hittite:
Gen 26:35 Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
There are some more lines about the parents' blessing:
Gen 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant
of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under
my thigh:
Gen 24:3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven,
and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the
daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
Gen 24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and
take a wife unto my son Isaac.
Gen 28:1 And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him,
and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.
Gen 28:2 Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's
father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's
brother.
Josh 15:16 And Caleb said, He that smiteth
Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife.
Josh 15:17 And Othniel the son of Kenaz, the brother of Caleb, took
it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife.
Josh 15:18 And it came to pass, as she came [unto him], that she
moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted off [her] ass; and
Caleb said unto her, What wouldest thou?
Josh 15:19 Who answered, Give me a blessing; for thou hast given me a
south land; give me also springs of water. And he gave her the upper springs,
and the nether springs.
1Sam 18:27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.
Song 3:11 Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.
Click to join Jews_and_Christians